When Love Sat Beside Me

I never thought that a simple morning at a coffee shop would become such a turning point in my life. I was just there to grab a cup of coffee and squeeze in some editing before photographing a wedding later that day. That’s when I saw Donna. She stepped out of her Lexus with her nice purse and sunglasses, and immediately, I thought, “She’s not the type who would ever want to sit with someone like me.” For so long, I carried this fear of being judged—for how I looked, for my tattoos, or simply for who I was. But when she smiled at me as she walked in, even though I braced myself for rejection, I felt nudged to offer her a seat at my table. Looking back now, I know it wasn’t just me extending that invitation—it was God opening a door I didn’t even know I needed.

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Through Donna, I was introduced to Crafted with Purpose. At first, I was nervous all over again. I half expected to feel the same way I had so many times before around groups of Christian women: judged, out of place, not good enough. My past had left deep wounds. I was bullied in school, often left feeling unprotected and unseen. At home, harsh words and strict rules convinced me that nothing I did would ever measure up. People I looked up to, who I admired and trusted, even made me feel small. Over time, I began to believe that my voice didn’t matter. Those experiences shaped me into someone defensive, apologetic, and terrified that people would leave if I wasn’t perfect.

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Because of that pain, I searched for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. I stayed in unhealthy relationships just to avoid abandonment. I acted out in anger, not because I wanted to hurt anyone, but because I didn’t know how else to release the ache, pain and grief that was inside me. There were days when depression and loneliness pressed so heavy that I questioned if I was even worth being here. And yet, through it all, I carried a deep longing—to just be LOVED.

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That longing followed me into adulthood, even into marriage. A few years ago, I walked through the heartbreak of divorce—one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. It shook me to my core and dug deep into my heart. Suddenly, I had to face the reality of providing for myself and my son on my own. I felt fear, grief, and shame all at once. Shame that I had “failed,” shame that I might never be loved again, and shame that maybe I really wasn’t enough. Divorce brought up every old wound I had carried since childhood. It was in that season that I wrestled most with God, asking Him if my story could ever be redeemed.

During the time of filing for divorce, I started my photography business. I had no formal training, no clear roadmap, and no promise it would work, along with lots of doubt that I would fail—only a creative spark and a desperate hope to build something new for my son and myself. Slowly, with persistence and prayer, God breathed life into it. Photography became more than a career. It became my livelihood, my creative outlet, and my reminder that beauty and joy can exist even after heartbreak. Today, I’ve photographed over 250 weddings, births, proposals, and milestones. I’ve built a full-time business from home, found love again, and even remarried my better half. But more than the success, what amazes me is how God took my brokenness and turned it into something beautiful. Even though I hadn’t fully connected back into the Lord, or the love of myself, I felt “filled,” but still sensed an emptiness.

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And then came Crafted with Purpose. From the first gathering, I felt something different. I wasn’t met with stares or whispers, but with warmth. These women didn’t just tolerate me—they embraced me. They asked about my tattoos, not to judge, but to hear the stories behind them. They prayed with me, encouraged me, and listened without judgment. In their presence, I felt God’s presence. In their acceptance, I heard His whisper reminding me that I had always mattered to Him.

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I’ll never forget when Donna asked me once, “If you could choose one word to describe yourself, what would it be?” My mind froze, but the only word that kept circling was love. For me, love has always been complicated; tangled up with rejection, fear, and pain. But through these women, God is teaching me that love isn’t conditional. Love isn’t earned. Love isn’t fear. Love is who He is. And slowly, I’m learning not only to receive that love but to believe I am worthy of it.

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Crafted with Purpose has become more than just a women’s group to me—it is a living picture of God’s grace and redemption. These women have shown me what real community feels like, what true encouragement sounds like, and what it means to walk in relationship with Him. For the first time, I feel like I’ve found the circle I’ve been searching for all my life—women who love deeply, who see people the way God sees them, and who reflect His heart.

Like the lotus flower, which rises beautifully from murky waters, my life has been a journey of emerging from pain into purpose. Each season, no matter how dark, has been a chance to grow stronger, brighter, and more alive. Romans 8:28 has always been my favorite verse because it reminds me that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Every trial, every heartbreak, every unexpected encounter—God has been shaping me into who I am meant to be.

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Through the love of God and the embrace of this community, I am learning that my past does not define me, my brokenness does not limit me, and my story; though scarred, is a testimony of redemption, grace, and the beauty of a life fully held by Him.

What started as a simple coffee shop encounter has become one of the clearest reminders that God sees me. He saw the little girl who felt invisible, the teenager who was told she wasn’t enough, the woman who faced heartbreak and divorce, and He answered by placing me here, with this group of women, to remind me of who I truly am in Him; He is my Almighty GOD.